urgh. friends are already having fun and getting high and im here studying )): and thanks for tempting me guys )):

7 more hours to go!
then its
Pittsburgh ->LA -> Singapore -> Taiwan -> Singapore -> Malaysia -> Singapore -> SF -> Pittsburgh
AWESOME

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i dont know where girls get the patience to flirt. i think im just an impatient person. if the person sounds like hes trying too hard and i have no interest at all, i’ll just ignore the message. trying too hard == turn off seriously ><

cutest things ever! ((:
need nice nails.. and nicer clothes. and dare to try out more with my clothes. and not scared of being judged just because im from cmu so im not supposed to dress fashionably. even when my friends ask “whats the special occasion” just because i wore a dress. wish that i were in london sometimes.

my mum is so cute. she thinks facebook is everything now. cause my brother found out that i broke up through facebook (i didnt even say anything, just that im starting a new chapter in my life). and i found out that my brother broke up when he changed his profile picture.

so this time my brother changed his profile picture to one without his gf and my mum starting panicking “eh do you think gorgor broke up with his gf?!” lollers. i had to tell her that other photos of them are still on fb and that probably means that they are still together. my mum so cute! ((: and she’ll look through my facebook photos and tell me not to wear a certain jacket that i’ve apparently worn too many times because its in almost every other photo )): aww <33

move on. why do i think its such a horribly difficult thing to do.

by sweetmave
hereisthedeepestsecret:  This night is sparkling.♥ on we heart it / visual bookmark #5181362
just called him. feeling emo again (this is weird, im usually not like this)
practicing secret + whatever he just told me
writing down a list for things im grateful for
  • freaking awesome parents + my brother to some extent. and the rest of my extended family ((:
  • freaking awesome friends. they’re there whenever i need them
  • being able to study in the US, without caring about money
  • being able to have almost anything i want, material stuff
  • being optimistic (which i am not now, but im optimistic most of the time)
  • to have read SECRET
  • to have passable intelligence
  • to be who i am now

just read charm’s blog. shes like totally the happiest girl on earth with ryan in london. so jealous )): how i wish i can have someone to spend time with and have fun with.

i think im so desperate i even dreamt of it last night. i miss having someone by my side. having someone to talk to when im stressed and to share my happiness with. but honestly, i have no idea if i have gotten over him. like i still text him and talk to him even though i know it isnt possible. and cmu isnt helping much, with the amount of stress and the people here arent exactly the people that i can relate to most. )): engineers and nerdy cs boys arent exactly the kind im attracted to ><
sports>>orchestra
sporty>>skinny/scrawny
there was one chance with tucker and i freaking blew it by not making the effort to go out. wth was i thinking i really dont know.
on side note, im so grateful to my friends around the world, like charm shui yj even ccr ((: theyre so awesome and listen to my whine about my life all the time <33
and i told my friends how i can accept my bf fucking someone else (as long as its a one-off thing and i have some reservations about the nationality of the girl as well), and this particular friend thinks that im retarded that i’ll allow a guy to cheat. which guy doesnt cheat. tell me. apart from my dad. so anyways, he made a bet with me that he wouldnt cheat for 10 years after hes married (divorce counts too) and he’ll owe me 50k if he does. hope he doesnt cheat/divorce, but i want that money. i can buy so much stuff with it! ((:
soon it’ll come