just read charm’s blog. shes like totally the happiest girl on earth with ryan in london. so jealous )): how i wish i can have someone to spend time with and have fun with.

i think im so desperate i even dreamt of it last night. i miss having someone by my side. having someone to talk to when im stressed and to share my happiness with. but honestly, i have no idea if i have gotten over him. like i still text him and talk to him even though i know it isnt possible. and cmu isnt helping much, with the amount of stress and the people here arent exactly the people that i can relate to most. )): engineers and nerdy cs boys arent exactly the kind im attracted to ><
sports>>orchestra
sporty>>skinny/scrawny
there was one chance with tucker and i freaking blew it by not making the effort to go out. wth was i thinking i really dont know.
on side note, im so grateful to my friends around the world, like charm shui yj even ccr ((: theyre so awesome and listen to my whine about my life all the time <33
and i told my friends how i can accept my bf fucking someone else (as long as its a one-off thing and i have some reservations about the nationality of the girl as well), and this particular friend thinks that im retarded that i’ll allow a guy to cheat. which guy doesnt cheat. tell me. apart from my dad. so anyways, he made a bet with me that he wouldnt cheat for 10 years after hes married (divorce counts too) and he’ll owe me 50k if he does. hope he doesnt cheat/divorce, but i want that money. i can buy so much stuff with it! ((:
soon it’ll come
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