i kept feeling like hes just trying to make use of me. but whatever. hes gonna transfer me 15k to invest and i’ll just take it as a test of my trading skills. hes such a selfish bastard using the girls around him who likes him ><

after kim k got divorced there was this trend on twitter #thingsshorterthankimkardashiansmarriage and now i can tweet, my relationships. muahaha, i dont think i ever loved him a second time, i was just eager to get back to the life i was used to. having him by my side. but whatever, now i woke up from my dream and realized that i was too hopeful. now, WORK and who cares about him and the upcoming valentines day urgh.

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me: i think im going to end it with jason. i think i deserve better
charm: i do think u deserve btr too but like he has this ability to make u vv happy and vv sad

how i wish my dilemma is as simple as everyday’s what to wear and not look fat.

just called him, and guess how i got his taiwan number? by going to his facebook and looking at his messages to this other girl. well done.

maybe im used to being single and i seriously got over him. maybe this getting back together shit really made me realized we’re not made for each other. fml

he finally fbmed me! “taiwan is good. dont worry…”
WTF does that mean seriously >< you havent contacted me in 6 days and thats all you say?! )): shui and i decided that I shouldnt tolerate with this. seriously, im sure theres someone else out there whos willing to spend more time and effort on me!

on side note. damn. solomon fucking sia came home with the rest at 2am and made so much noise downstairs that i could hear on the 3rd floor. screamed at him twice, and on the third time i caught him and screamed right into his face. problem is, i slammed my door after that, and this morning i woke up and saw a broken mirror on my door. FML >< and its CNY >< luo di kai hua! hahah! sorry that was the first thing that came to my mind. so pissed with solomon

i still remember in freshman year, there was an article in the school newspaper which said, “most of your long distance relationships wouldn’t work out in the end” and i remember thinking to myself that i will prove them wrong. but apparently it really doesn’t work out.

even guys that are so charmy with their girlfriends think that skype isn’t a real relationship. why didn’t i consider this when i agreed to get back together. although it doesn’t hurt much now, i know i would hate myself if i didn’t try harder. maybe you’re just not the one for me. maybe i’m just like ym, who needs more verbal and physical assurances. i may blame the long distances for making me feel like that, but deep down, i think i know that you’re just not right for me. should i just end this or should i try harder. why should i put in so much effort when it seems like you don’t even bother trying. maybe, maybe all guys feel the same way. that a relationship over skype is just not the same. maybe we should just end this now so that we’ll not miss out the right person for us when they come by.

on the other hand. school is going really well. think i’m going to get off the waitlist for some courses, and i think the classes this semester are so interesting! without the SMU guys and joseph i probably need to go make more friends >< no more impromptu movies and ice-skating. more staying at home watching shows and knitting. oh well, i’m sure it would work out in the end. i’m not going to spend my college life sulking at home. gonna go ask the freshies if they wanna go OHIO’s CEDARPOINT! i guess. but again, there’s booth. but booth will be fun too (living in constant contradiction. i keep brainwashing myself to think positively but life’s just not that great)


emotions will subside and everything will be fine again. i just need to.. feel happier.