i still remember in freshman year, there was an article in the school newspaper which said, “most of your long distance relationships wouldn’t work out in the end” and i remember thinking to myself that i will prove them wrong. but apparently it really doesn’t work out.

even guys that are so charmy with their girlfriends think that skype isn’t a real relationship. why didn’t i consider this when i agreed to get back together. although it doesn’t hurt much now, i know i would hate myself if i didn’t try harder. maybe you’re just not the one for me. maybe i’m just like ym, who needs more verbal and physical assurances. i may blame the long distances for making me feel like that, but deep down, i think i know that you’re just not right for me. should i just end this or should i try harder. why should i put in so much effort when it seems like you don’t even bother trying. maybe, maybe all guys feel the same way. that a relationship over skype is just not the same. maybe we should just end this now so that we’ll not miss out the right person for us when they come by.

on the other hand. school is going really well. think i’m going to get off the waitlist for some courses, and i think the classes this semester are so interesting! without the SMU guys and joseph i probably need to go make more friends >< no more impromptu movies and ice-skating. more staying at home watching shows and knitting. oh well, i’m sure it would work out in the end. i’m not going to spend my college life sulking at home. gonna go ask the freshies if they wanna go OHIO’s CEDARPOINT! i guess. but again, there’s booth. but booth will be fun too (living in constant contradiction. i keep brainwashing myself to think positively but life’s just not that great)

emotions will subside and everything will be fine again. i just need to.. feel happier.


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